For months I have been fostering two she-cats. One of them ran away in June, creating a lot of drama. She was returned after the rescue agency for which I am doing the fostering placed "Lost cat" ads all around the neighborhood.

The cat has the feline equivalent of HIV, but for felines it is not that bad at all - but still, there is stigma. I guess like with bp illness. Except the feline equivalent of HIV requires no medical treatment. At any rate, you understand why it is hard to place this cat for adoption. Even though she is a stunningly gorgeous Maine Coon with a friendly character.

The other cat is just your regular Calico, barely over 1 year old, and very skittish. She is well, no viruses.

The Calico does everything the Maine Coon tells her to do; the Maine Coon is the alpha female. The Maine Coon sometimes hisses at the Calico, but most of the time they co-exist peacefully, grooming one another and eating from the same plate.

I was heart-broken when the Maine Coon ran away. Now I am super careful when I enter or leave the apartment.

I realized that I want her to be my cat.

I was unemployed from Dec through June, and debilitatingly depressed for the last several months of that period. Then I found a temp job for a year. It was on the morning of the interview for that job that the Maine Coon must have run away - I must have been too focused on the upcoming interview to notice that she managed to squeeze through the door opening. I was given the job offer on the day of the interview. It was several weeks before I was going to file for SSDI, desperate.

So the job is what separates me from poverty and keeps me renting a nice apartment rather than living in a special motel where our county places homeless mentally ill patients (thanks god for that placement!!). Even though the job is for a year and conversion is not at all guaranteed, it is at a known company and it would not be so hard for me to find another job afterwards if I start early enough, before my contract expires. They say it is so much easier to find a job out of being employed than out of unemployment. Because you do not come across as desperate, I guess. So I am hopeful.

When I started working, I was sleeping 12 and up hours a night, and still was falling asleep at work. I was afraid that I would not be able to pull it off. So I decided that if I do work for 2 months without getting fired, I will conclude that I can manage and, comfortable in that knowledge, will adopt the cat(s).

With several medication changes and a little (really little) help from caffeine, I no longer fall asleep on the job. And I have met all deadlines thus far. It is just that on some evenings I may become incredibly tired and go to sleep even before 10PM, but next morning I am refreshed again.

So I was going to adopt both cats at the two months' mark, on Aug 18th.

Then on Friday comes an application to adopt the Calico. All of a sudden. After months of no interest. Someone from San Francisco not only wants her, but guarantees her only 2 hours without people in the house a day, which is much better than what she gets from me on workdays. And skittish as she is, she does like some interaction -e.g. she likes to walk on the keyboard as I type.

So I decide - if I am going to wait until Aug 18th, someone might want the Maine Coon, too. Unlikely, because of the HIV, but still. Therefore, I decided not to wait but to go ahead and adopt her. So I did - she is taken off the rescue agency's website as available and is marked as adopted.

So I have my own kitty now. I am not only working, I am responsible for a living breathing creature. I commit not to falling into depression and desolation as my job contract draws to a close but to utilizing all resources to find another job, so that I can keep buying cat food from Amazon and stay in the apartment with the kitty.

Feels pretty empowering, for lack of a better word.