Lissie,

Hope I'm not of line answering considering I'm male and much older than you and, frankly, your open-ness is admirable, but sort of embarrassing for a modest person to read. Still, I think you are looking for honest advice about an honest concern and I'm masking my blush to make a suggestion.

If you want to dream of alternatives, maybe trying to find what works best for you, checking the fit, deciding what feels right, educate yourself as completely as possible about your choices. Dreams are fun and have a purpose, but basing life decisions on dreams is really not realistic. Go out and meet some women who live with abusive, aggresive men and see if they are content with it. Visit a woman's shelter, see what it's really like.

Here's some advice from someone who didn't educate himself well. Stay in school, don't do drugs. Don't smoke. Listen to your parents. Be responsible. Take care of yourself. What you do today may be your shadow for the rest of your life....

"Our greatest glory is not in never falling, but rising every time we fall." Confucius