Quote:
Originally Posted by kazine
I am really worried about my boyfriend and my pets. He has DID and we previously found out that one of his alters had been abusing my cats at home. The two of them were so frightened that they stopped coming home. This was months ago and it's still an absolute task to get them, they're scared of him. Until last Wednesday I hadn't seen the female cat for about three months, it's that bad. The male cat, who always ran to me whenever he saw me in the street, now runs away from me. It's devastating. The fact they were clearly terrified to go home spurred me to demand he get his alters to search his psyche to find out what had been going on and they found that an alter had been creating false memories as he abused and tormented my cats. I punched said alter in the face, which probably wasn't the best way to go about it, but I love my cats and I was so upset. He also came in one day claiming that the female cat had bitten him unprovoked, yet he uncovered that that was a fake memory and that the alter had been tormenting her and she had retaliated.
Since then, he got his alters to "kill" this abusive alter so that it could never hurt my pets again. But I'm not so sure. A lot of accidents seem to happen with my pets when I'm not in the room. Examples include;
- My rat Cookie who I had only had for about two months fell off the back of the sofa while I was upstairs. My boyfriend came upstairs to tell me he had fallen and now he wasn't moving. I came downstairs and the rat's back was broken, and he died in my hands. People on the rat forum told me that usually rats are fine falling from fair heights and that my rat was very unlucky.
- The female cat, who I didn't see for 3 weeks, finally came in last Wednesday. Everything was fine with her, she was sitting on our laps etc and seemed content. I left the room and came back to find that she had pooed on the sofa, and even bled everywhere, my boyfriend had cleaned it up and put the cushion cover in the washing machine.
- The cat above was fine since the pooing incident. Today whilst I was upstairs cleaning the bathroom and I came back to find her terrified on the table and she had peed herself on the table despite the litter tray being right next to the table.
- Today whilst I was just getting out of the shower I heard my new rat, Silas, squeaking extremely loudly and constantly for the amount of time it took me to get from my bedroom to the living room. I found my boyfriend with the rat in his hands, claiming that he had stood on his tail by accident. I went back upstairs to finish getting dried and when I was on my way back I heard Silas squeaking again and my boyfriend said he'd just been gently squeezing his tail to see if it had been damaged by him standing on it.
I don't want to think that he might, once again, be abusing my pets, be it him or an alter. But I can't help but wonder why all these little 'accidents' happen when I'm not in the room. I don't want to ask him about it because it feels awful accusing him of something like this even if it has happened before. Am I in denial?
Kaz x
|
I cant tell you what the mental health community believes about this stuff in England but here in New York USA the mental health community believes DID type alters do ***Not***die and cannot be "killed". you might want to consider contacting mental health treatment providers there in England. they can tell you whether they believe DID type alters can kill each other..
see here in the USA if an alter is killed or dies the body also ddies because the alter is living with in the body of the host..
example when one of my alters self injured, the physical body was harmed. when an alter tried to commit suicide the physical body that the alter resided in came close to dying, it was only through the quick thinking of my therapist that got me to the hospital so my stomach could be pumped. when the alter tried to commit suicide my physical body was harmed, bruised..
another example I had an alter that smoked, the physical body had the result of lung problems.
another example when one of my alters drank, my physical body had the result of a hang over, kidney/liver deterioration,
another example when my alters had sex the physical body they resided in bore the results of that.
when one alter does harm to another alter they are in fact doing harm to their self and the physical body.
my point is here in New York USA we believe the alters though they are just alternate personalities they are connected to the physical body and what happens to the alters happens to the body.
As for the harming animals there may not be anything you can do about that. Here where I live and work it is believed that alters have their own way of being, they have their own jpb/purpose/reason for being. if the animal harming alters job/purpose/reason for being is to harm animals then thats what they will do and nothing can change that.
you may have to make a decision of either
staying with your boyfriend and not owning any pets until their alters are integrated and they are no longer a danger to animals
or you may have to decide to keep the pets and say goodbye to the boyfriend,
or you may have to decide to institutionalize/ commit the boyfriend to inpatient at a mental health hospital because they are a danger to others/animals.
I dont know how they do things in England in regards to animal cruelty, but if you were here in NY USA his harming animals would be a crime that holds yrs in jail and his being unable to own any pets for 5 yrs or more and you could possibly be prosecuted too because you are aware of the danger he poses and still have pets that he could harm.
Im an animal lover so if this was me theres no doubt I would say sorry hun but you got to go, the animals cant speak for their self and cant protect their self as their owner I have to do that for them, just as if the pet was my son or daughter. Im the responsible adult they are just pets, good bye..
Yes I actually had to do that, not because of DID problems but because I was involved with someone who constantly terrorized one of my dogs.. I gave them the boot, kept the dogs and a better more loving woman came into my and my dogs lives.