|
Jul 30, 2012, 07:24 AM
|
 |
|
|
Member Since: Jul 2012
Location: Argentina
Posts: 20
|
|
Wow, thank you all so much for responding. It just feels so reassurring and wonderful to know Im not the only one.
@wolfin3, I sympathize with you greatly, regardless if you have BPD or not. Going through relationships, giving it your all each time, to then feel nothing at the end is incredibly frustrating. You feel awful, you feel like you've wasted time, like you should have known better, that you should have taken it slower, etc.
To everyone else, thanks! Indifference while at the same time feeling depressed, lonely, frustrated, appears to be quite common among us. I have a hard time empathizing with other people, listening to their stories, relating. I may understand what someone else (friends, family) is going through, but I have difficulties in caring. Does anyone else go through this?
I used to adore my boyfriend, find him beautiful and charming; he has expressed to me every wonderful feeling of love any person would want. As time went by I just started disliking him more and more. Finding him irritating, too talkative, lazy, etc. I began to criticize everything about him, control him, have vicious fights. But then I would think, wait, its me, Im the crazy one, I need to change how Im acting, this isnt good for either of us. When I did begin to respect him more (he in many ways, did change all those negative things I nagged him about) I realized I didnt feel anything. He still irritated me greatly, I just controlled my rages. How can I feel so completely comfortable and myself around someone (while still being supported emotionally) and feel like something is wrong at the same time? Im not looking to be head over heels for my significant other, I just want to feel like I care what he's feeling and going through, I want to feel a passion for his life too.
My story, of course, is more complicated….I live out of the country in south america and am thinking of moving back, but I plan to post about that in another section sometime soon as it will open up a whole nother can of worms!
|