For me, healing has meant switching my focus from being free of the memories and reactions to learning how to accept them. They are part of what it is to be me, unfortunately, so rolling with them makes it easier to get through them. Note that I said "easier," not "easy," because it can still be hard.

What helped me was talking with T over and over about whatever it was that came up. I had tons of sessions that started with, "I had another meltdown this week." I got less and less embarrassed by my reactions--shame was a huge part of what was making me miserable.

It IS hard to go through this. I'm sorry you're stuck in this painful place right now.