I have a problem I don't know what to do with...
I struggle with that almost 4 years right now. In 2008 I lost three persons from my family in only 7 months. I coudn't really be in mourning. My mum was really depressed, she needed quite long time to handle it. I had to be strong because I was afraid I will lose her too. Right now everythink at home is ok. Except me...
Every time I'm at home I'm scared that sth will happen. Because I live quite far from my home I though this problems are behind me. Don't really think about this. But when I come back, first couple of days, or actually couple of evenings, are incredible hard. I check every 10 minutes if everythink is ok, sometimes I think: Good, you're so stupid, why you try to listen if they're breathing!!! But I have no idea how can I stop this. Somehow it's stronger then I...
Today is much better then for example last year. But still I have lots of moments when 10 sek. are like eternity because someone doesn't answer his/her phone. The worst is I have no idea even how to tell it to my parents. They think I'm ok and I don't want them to worry anymore about me.
How can a young person deal with sth like that alone? Is it even possible? I don't really want to tell my parents... And don't have any idea what to do...