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I was dignosied with bipolar mixed almost 7 yrs ago. Although as many i had symptoms for many yrs before i was actually diangoinsed. My life as i knew it came to s hault literally in a day. I was what i though was prodctive. I had a job. Had 2 kids full time to care for. I also was going to school,but that was all gone in a flash. Then my life was full of meds and doc appts. Over the last 7 yrs i have had a few jobs, but with the same pattern i have had all my life i would walk off one day because someone or somthing pissed me off. I even tried to go back to school,but couldnt stay focused to save my life. 3 yrs ago i lost everything i had, well maertail wise, in a relationship that ended badly. So for the last 3 yrs i have tried to replace all i had lost. I have become a loner some would say. I lost my car and havent been abel to get another one. I have never not had a car since i was 18. I also have never not had a job. So i took this as a chance to finally focus on me like i should have many yrs ago. So now im trying to get the disablility. I m in my second appeals proces. I feel like if im not approved and recive the back payments i will be stuck in a no where life. right now i live in public hosusing. dont have a car or a job. Im hoping that i will be approved for a few reasons. The main reaosn is that i can move back to my daughters school district adn get her back. I asked her dad to help me when i was doing very badly. I also want to go back to school . I will never be abel to get a good job unless i get back to school. So i need to pay off a back balance before i can go back. Then i woudl need a car in order to go back becasue of where i live. I also think it would be good for me to have that stabel income in place in case im not ready to be out there again. So now i have more days where im questioning msyelf if i can really do this? I know we shoudl all have faith in ourselves and what we are cabable of, but i also think about how ive always been told that people with bipolar can lead a 'normal',life, so my question what is consdierd normal???
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i am not where i want to be today...but i am not where i used to be
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