(((((hugs)))) When we become depressed it does seem our brain digs out all the other sad thoughts to make us feel worse!

I think if you could befriend Josh, and ask him --seriously-- in a good setting---- why he thinks he's such a (popular) guy (use your word)... it would help in more ways than one... unless he's a jerk and ignores you. But most ppl's ego is fed by being asked questions like that. If the conversation goes good, at some point, if the friendship grows??? You can ask what he sees you need to do to be appreciated as much??? IDK... think along those lines...

I sure understand about pouring your emotions out and losing the post!!!! GRRR many of us here have had it happen. I don't usually repost. Sometimes I remember to copy it before submitting it... but if the browser crashed, hmmm you'd have to copy it into a wordprocessing program to still have it!

Hang in there!