Had rough therapy session today

Therapist had me try to go back to an incident where was hurt by ex-bf. Where I blacked out and don't remember what happened.

It felt like was 1999 all over again. Felt very strange and then started talking but didn't feel like was me saying the words.

Not really sure what happened next. But when finally was grounded enough, I know almost 45 minutes went by.

Except now every once in awhile I get this thought like I don't deserve to be here.

I was so shaken up after this session, I felt really nauseous and threw up in parking lot and later at home.

Although not sure what shook me up so much.

This is all so exhausting