Seriously what's with this stupid attitude of expecting the girl to contact me and show me the attention all the time?

Why can't I feel self-sufficient and not pressured about getting into relationship?

This shxt is not me. If it was me, then it would never do some things to hurt myself. And this pressure is hurting me and stressing me out.

God I hate myself for not being able to stand up for myself and just not thinking about being self-sufficient. Really what's the point in demanding others internally and being whiny all the time?