I want to ring her and tell her that I can't do this alone, that I still need her help but I don't know how she will take that because the letter I sent pointed out how much she actually helped me but also that I was still severely depressed and couldn't cope with that. I do still need help to cope with this but maybe she is not the one to help me through this part of my life. I just wish I could talk to her one last time...