Thanks for all your words of wisdom. I couldn't find this thread so that I could read what was said I did end up doing it again... the whole begging on my knees ... yup... on my knees! I am learning that I have such low self-esteem that I allow myself to do this. Yes... he said no!!!!! Who was an insecure woman begging on her knees as a g/f?! I do have a therapist now and I'm trying to believe that I am sooo much better than this. I'm 47 and not that bad looking.....