Hello Linkg11, welcome to PC! I'm glad you've found us so that hopefully you can find some support.

I guess the first thing I would recommend would maybe looking around your community for some therapy. Because I make almost no money, I am actually able to go to the community mental health center and receive free appointments with both a therapist (T) and a psychiatrist (pdoc). I also attend a group there as well. I have found both of these services to be extremely helpful. I know my center also has a group for dual diagnosis, and you could find support from others who have recovered from addictions (way to go, btw! You're doing great!). If you're in the US, you can also look into NAMI groups or groups similar to AA for support.

In regards to your husband's ex wife... I can sort of relate. My husband has an ex girlfriend from high school (I know, right?!). She treated my husband absolutely horrible, but she has a great personality. His family fell in love with her. And even though she was an exchange student from Germany, they still talk to her and visit her whenever she comes to the States. My husband finally had to tell his parents that we simply didn't want to hear about her anymore, and we both completely blocked her on facebook so even if she writes on my mother-in-law's page, neither of us see it. That has relieved A LOT of stress. Granted, we live several states away, so even our contact with his family is limited. Maybe you and your husband could take a similar stance. Unless they are talking about something involving the kid, I don't see a reason to mention his ex in front of you or him.

Also, is there any way the two of you could move into a small apartment together? I know it would take some money to do so, which might make getting a house harder, but at the very least, you'd have your own space.

Stay strong, you're doing great! You can get through this! Feel free to come and vent as much as you need!