First hugs to all you

awe... anger.. most people think I am not an angry person ... that till I express it in either a rant or they see me writing or typing away or am in a *****y mood and am like - i wish the world would burn down..... I do apologize to the ones that see this and as Rose Panachee has mentioned- usually people are understanding.

Anger -
For me at least, one thing that really helps is to know and be told- Is that it is ok for me to be angry at times.. Also that Anger is not a "bad thing"
I.e. I am allowed to be upset every once in a while-- But not so upset that it is rage and I am tearing apart the apt to find a tool and kicking boxes around and kicking walls or wanting to break out the window (been pretty good with behavior things but some times i see red) and that if something angers me, I should as best as I can take it as a warning sign, figure out what that "warning sign is" and go from there-- I.e. warning sign as either not being validated, being used/or something has happened that i feel is an unjustified action. The idea with being "Out of control" is another thing as well i but that goes into a long story for me (but I try best to recognize what I have in control, what is out of my control and also in some cases what is my responsibility).... As well as if I get angry and then just stuff it all down and try not to note it- that is not good either.

Sometimes I write out my angry throughts-- ooo yeah especially if I know that I am just triggered and that I better watch what I say due to I may regret it.... I have been pretty good in my life with watching what I say, due to I have had very angry "close" people to me shout out things to me just to be mean when they were angry and it hurts deeply and I don't want to do that to another person..... I.e. When in an argument with my S/O and with angry thoughts- I usually keep them to myself until we calm down, so we can talk and I can bring forth my issue(s) to him in a more constructive matter..(I am going to bold that due to keeping it all in for me at least is not good-- bottling up usually means I will explode at a later date i.e building up).. but if I am being constantly poked while in an argument (nagged on to shout as they are) I will let someone know what is on my mind straight forward- it may not be sounding nice but it will be my honest thoughts. but a lot of times, angry thoughts- write them out, see if there any real validation for those thoughts or just angry reactionary thoughts.

Also Anger--- One big thing that helps me is STOP- Take A break- Think A little and calm down, come back...... this especially if I feel like I am going to the "Freak out mode" or Melt Down mode... It can be very hard at times but these past few months I have been a little better with it---

A lot of times the identifying Why I am angry helps a lot due to then I play around and rationalize that in my head-- the bad thing that I do-- is that I can stew over it for a long time-- much longer than need to be....

I am not sure if this is just Rambling Beauflow talk here or if there is any thing helpful here....

But just remember Anger is natural-- how we let it out and act can be modified with some work and some help if needed.

(as I will always say-- I am a working progress this myself),

be well all... sorry for the rambling rambler