to paraphase whay u said you needed 'liquid courage'. this is one of many stepping stones to alcoholism. eventually you found you drink for no reason at all and continue to do so. it's called a 'compulsion' or 'obsession' to drink. i'm glad you posted. i can't qualify you as an alcoholic cuz only you can but at the very least you exhibit the signs of alcohol dependance. why not talk with your doc. he may have suggestions to help you. detox treatment at a medical facility can break the cycle you are in. but it's entirely up to you to follow thru and not drink thereafter. you're on a slippery slope but you can turn this around. becoming an alcoholic can be hell. so much to lose including your identity, dui's, financial irresponsibility to list a few. you say you want to stop drinking. that is the first step to recovery. take that desire and use it to get well. and 'put the plug in the jug.' toss out all booze in your home.