My Support Forums - View Single Post

madisgram · Aug 01, 2012, 07:15 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Edge11

...Hi everyone...

...Like I said last week...I'm working step three...It hasn't been as easy as I thought it would be...Turn my...LIFE...and my...WILL...over to God...To be honest that scares the hell out of me...

...I know It's all about having...FAITH and TRUST...but It seems like a big deal to me...I've half a$$ed this before and want to make sure I'm truley ready...If anyone has any advice I would apprieciate it...

...

...Have a great 24...

here is a workshhet for step 3 i wrote for sponsees. i hope it may help you. remember it is "made a decision to turn over our lives-surrendering-to a power greater than ourselves. that power can be your AA group. they are doing what you need to learn and doing it successfully.

Quote:

STEP 3
“Made a decision to turn our will and our care over to the care of God as we understand Him.”

Try to clear your mind of knowledge from your past that you’ve acquired in AA. Answer the questions as truthfully as you can.

1. What does self will mean to you?
2. Do you feel in order for things to have a positive outcome you need to control all that takes place in your life?
a. If yes, has this been successful for you?
b. If no, give examples of ways your way didn’t turn out as you wanted.
3. What are the negative or positive feelings you have when you’re in control of everything?
4. Are there some things in life you have no control over?
a. If yes, then what?
b. If no, then how do you successfully manage to control anything or everything?
5. What is false pride and ego? If we possess these traits can we become willing to turn our will over to the care of god as we understand him?
6. How do you know when it is your will that needs to be used?
a. Are you successful in all things when your will directs your life?
b. When trying it that way doesn’t yield successful outcomes what are your resources if any to help you?
7. When you were drinking did you feel you were in control of the outcome?
a. If yes, describe.
b. If no, describe.
8. How do we know when we should not use our will to manage our life? (quick answer that worked for me, when in doubt don't)
9. How do we know when we should use our will to manage our life?
10. Is it difficult for you to know when to use your will versus or when not?
11. What is the difference between admitting something and accepting something?
12. Define the word willingness. Use the dictionary, then put it in your own words.
13. Do you feel when you came to AA that you were willing to get help?
Or did you just want to straighten out all life’s problems?
14. Do you feel turning your will over to someone or something causes you to lose power/control in your life?
a. Are you nervous to let go of your control in all aspects of your life?
b. Do you feel yes, I can let go some of the control but not all of it?
15. Have you admitted total defeat of your alcoholism or are you taking a break from all the mess reserving the option of drinking later maybe?
16. Do you feel being dependent on anything or anyone is the best way to live one’s life?
17. Does being independent to fix life’s problems work for you? If so, is this your responsibility to do it by yourself? What resources do you possibly have?
18. How can one acquire the willingness to admit complete defeat to the fact that our willpower in all our affairs did not work? Did we bombard life with all the muster we had and still came up short? Do you believe that relying on a higher power can bring sobriety, peace and harmony in your life?
19. Does AA require one to believe in God?
20. Should we ask questions if we don’t understand something?
21. Can one believe a sponsor and the AA group as a whole can be one’s Higher Power? If the answer is yes, are their suggestions about how to live in sobriety the total answer for our staying sober?
The answer to #21 is this:
When one truly acquires the willingness to change, he/she is the only one who can make the decision to exert one’s self. But using our sponsors and AA as our guide to be in harmony with what our higher power wants for us is what opens the door to sobriety and a new way of living in all our affairs.. Having the willingness is the key to open that door.
　
　
Other notes
Step 3 is a major shift in our way of living and thinking. Without truly understanding to the best of our ability that we are willing to “let go, let god” we will not be able to maintain any degree of true sobriety. It is important for us to take the time we need to gain this spiritual understanding. If we do not do step 3 thoroughly it is impossible to do the remaining 9 steps successfully. After completing the first 3 steps we then put into action what we have learned and apply them to the next 9 steps. There is no rush to the finish line to do all 12 steps. Nor do we sit on our laurels after that and feel there’s nothing else we need to do but go to meetings. The 12 steps are a lifelong process of self improvement and change.
Our higher power expects us to do the footwork to attain any level of sobriety. Going to meetings, making coffee, cleaning up, helping the newcomer, practicing the steps in our lives, doing service work by chairing at meetings after time of sobriety acquired, saying yes, after the time of the sobriety required, to be a speaker at a meeting, never saying “no” when asked to serve unless there’s an outside conflict.
The serenity prayer crystallizes step 3 and how to use it:
God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference. Thy will, not mine, be done.

sorry for this long post.