((((((Candy)))))))
You just shouldn't have to keep feeling that bad. How's it coming with finding a new therapist?
It sounds like you needed more help with learning to cope before being forced to give up your coping method. And with all you've been through, you really need some good coping skills. It would severely challenge anyone to manage it all effectively.
Rap
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“We should always pray for help, but we should always listen for inspiration and impression to proceed in ways different from those we may have thought of.”
– John H. Groberg
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