I feel like I have ruined my life. How's that for putting it all in a nutshell?

I am not sure how to break my issues into specific forums since they seem to be so tightly bound together - they feed off each other.

Anyway - as far as the depression goes, I've known I had problems for a long time and probably should have sought therapy at least 20 years ago. About 6 years ago my gyn put me on Zoloft and it helped somewhat but I knew it still wasn't really enough. I ignored it and told myself I had nothing to be depressed about. So many people have real problems and mine sound so trivial.

Can I back up and give a little background?

I didn't have many friends in school which, I guess, contributed to the fact that I hated it and couldn't get out fast enough. I did barely enough to get by (which I regret and doesn't help my depression) Never considered going to college since I didn't feel smart enough and I hated high school so why would I subject myself more school if I didn't have to?
I got married, had kids. Love being a mom - it is all I ever really wanted to do. Something I knew I could do well. I think I did a good job. All three of my kids graduated from college - my best accomplishment. They have all moved on to their own lives now and I am an unemployed mom.

Three years ago we moved to a new city. (up until this point, we still had two of our grown sons living with us so this was a sudden empty nest thing too) My husband had a chance at a great job - he loves it. We are total opposites - he is outgoing and friendly, I'm shy and reserved. Anyway - I had a part-time job before we moved but it was a small specialty shop which really doesn't give me a lot of experience for anything so I never looked for a job after we moved here. I have no skills. My computer skills consist of reading my email and shopping. Because of financial issues it has become apparent that I have to get some kind of job and this has thrown my depression (and anxiety) into overdrive.

While I can never, ever regret the time I spent raising my boys, I am totally embarrassed by my lack of education and skills. I'm 50 years old, too old to even think about starting college. I'm not stupid, but certainly not smart enough to get into college and even if I were, we can't afford it (make too much for assistance and too much debt to take on more) Not to mention the time involved or the fact that I would have no idea what to go to college for.

I am starting a part-time job in retail this weekend and the thought of it makes me even more depressed. I don't know exactly what I want to do, but I can tell you that retail is NOT IT. I'm not qualified for anything else and not even sure I can do this.

I feel like I am rambling and my first instinct is to delete this and not post it, but if I don't at least try to start a conversation I will never know if I am as totally alone as I feel. Time to find out.

ps - how do you make the spell-check thing work if you don't use internet explorer. told ya I have no computer skills!