T has tried without success to get me to be with my inner child, younger me or whatever label they give it. But I have always resisted as I hate that part of my life and like to keep it at arms length.

I have written elsewhere on PC about my retreat at the weekend. I did lots and lots of meditation and on the last day, I was sitting quietly waiting to leave, when in my mind I became very conscious of an image of a younger me. She appeared lonely and scared and sad, I said (can't remember whether it was out loud or in my head), ahh, come over here and in my head we embraced and it felt close and powerful.

I remembered it in my session with T yesterday and part of me wanted to tell T, but another part was very frightened of sharing with T. In the end I said about my struggle to tell T and did share it briefly, not as much detail as I have written here though.

I am really trying to understand why I had such an issue with telling T all the detail - it is like I wanted to deny liking / or was it forgiving that part of me still. I keep playing the scenario in my head of telling T all the detail and it just still feels so uncomfortable.