I don't remember a time when I didn't binge, literally, I can not remember having a normal relationship with food. Even as a young child. For the past two years I have obsessed over exercising and lost a lot of weight but became very ill. This year I've gained it back and I panic almost every morning when I wake up. This year I was diagnosed with bulimia amongst other problems. I know exactly what it can do to my body when I purge and use laxatives but I don't care at all. I feel happy and get excited when I purge. I have even told close friends about it but because I don't weight 90 lbs. they ignore me asking for help, even my father. Part of me never wants it to stop but, I know it should. I'm so confused.