Really? Nothing?

I dont agree. When you are at your lowest, the only way is up. It just takes courage, a bit of confidence (even if pretend at first). If you are so messed up, then how did you get a boyfriend in the first place? You say that nobody wants to be friends, but I dont see why not. On here you are kind to people, come up with good advice and are caring. Those are qualities that many people dont have and you should be proud of yourself! You have a good job/career too, thats more than I have!!!

You sound very sad and down. Sure, you say you're messed up - do you have therapy? If its away from others you know then it's a fresh start, nobody will know about you. Perhaps you could find ways to improve, and gain your confidence. Join some clubs, go out of your normal circle, and try and push yourself? It is hard, it really is but its like cause and effect - if you think you are mucked up and worthless, then you will come over as being mucked up and worthless. Focus on your good points (of which I am sure there are many more than I've seen) and things will improve. Promise.