Part 1
So I suffer from ocd since childhood.I am 17 now.Suddenly the typical symptoms of ocd turned into in a big fear of being homosexual/bisexual and I have ALL the symptoms of hocd,(mental checking,groinal responses,anxiety,depression)althought I've never been diagnosed with it cause I live in a small island and we don't have good therapists here.
Part 2
The thing with hocd started when I found that I was emotionally dependent to my old best friend(gir).Actually,my psychologist said so.Maybe it was a co-dependency because she suffer from depression.Anyways,now you will ask me...so?? many ppl can have unhealthy friendships.Why do u think that you are not straight? Maybe because of ocd? Well no.I red many articles about co-dependency towards a close friend and they were connected with a bit of homosexuality and I got really scared.I red about 2 married women that they were emotional dependent to each other and suddenly felt sexual attraction(!!!) it scared the s***t out of me! and I also red that a symptom of emotional dependency is, experiencing romantic or sexual feelings leading to fantasy about a person.No no I have never had sexual feelings for her nor for an other same sex person but it was like i was in a platonic love with her(maybe that's emotional dependency). I don't know what does "romantic"exactly mean in this case.That's how my hocd started.I had imaginary kisses with her(NOT GENUINE,compulsions) and most times I felt that I liked them but it was so scary and weird after all ((
.Anyway I am confused.Does that make me bisexual???!!!! Everyone who has emotional dependency toward his/her best same sex friend has homosexual tendencies? why do they say that? I am sexualy attracted only to boys...is it something wrong with me? please help!