Being abused, even just one time, is traumatizing. The definition of trauma is something that completely shatters your worldview--i.e., your sense of safety and well-being. At age 7, you had a basic expectation of trust in adults and safety in the world--and the abuse took all that away from you.

Some of trauma's effects can also relate to how people in our lives respond to the trauma--so that's an added factor.

I share your anger and regret about being forever changed by trauma. I am sometimes quite bitter about how my entire being has been shaped by what happened to me. A lot of my therapy has focused on learning to accept that the trauma is over, done, it's happened--I can't unring that bell. But I can decide how to respond to the challenges it has left in my life. That makes me feel more in control. Talking about what happened has helped me cast off a lot of the shame, too.

It can get better. Trauma can change our lives irrevocably, but that doesn't mean ruined.