That's sad that you feel speaking honestly is risky. So sorry for you.

Me, now, wondering how I should open the session. T always waits expectantly for me to say the first word.

Should I say, "I have no words" or "What should we talk about today?" or "Hey, great weather we're having" or "Sorry I'm late" (I'll be late if I don't get going) or "hmmm, whaddya wanna do today?" or "feeling nervous, no list prepared even though there's a ton of stuff going on" or say nothing at all and just let her feel uncomfortable with my silence. oh my goodness - 17 minutes. I gotta get dressed and get out of the house!!!!