I confided in my therapist last week details about my family situation. I mentioned the following as far as I recollect:
- Mother distinctly said she loved my brother more than me since he had my sick aunt's "spirit" this when I was 8 and for no conceiable reason. She has continued to practise favouritism and has made it known that she no longer loves me
- Parents routinely described me as digusting; would stop and remark derisively that I looked a state etc they would also compare me to my brother and expound her virtues and my numerous flaws at every turn.
- Mother locked me in the basement during a panic attack and ignored my screams for help because my panic attack was inconvenient for her
- Parents bestowed load upon guilty load on me blaming me for the fall of the house of ..... the deterioration of their marriage etc etc
I made a huge point about the pain of feeling that I deserved the treatment above , but my therapist had nothing to say either for or against while on other issues not related to my parents she was the first to pipe up.
By the end of the session I was defending my mum and actually attacking myself and I left the room with the beginnings of a grand mal depression setting in
Im just confused utterly. I felt that there was a solidarity between my italian therapist and my italian mther a sort of kinship if you will. That night I went home and was attacked by my brother to which my mum responded "I told you that would happen get out of the house". My dad said that I was one of the most disgusting people he had ever encountered and that I was capable of harming my mum.
I broke down in tears naturally
Is this to be expected?