You are absolutely beautiful and I can't see why anyone wouldn't want to be around you. You seem to have a wonderful, understanding personality and never let anyone tell you otherwise.

Have you tried sticking your hand in a bucket of ice water? When I have the urges to cut again this usually helps for me and kind of snaps me out of the state I'm in, at least enough to realize that I'm going to rrregret what I'm about to do. If you've gone three weeks before, I have hope that you can do it again and last even longer. With enough discipline, maybe never again. Try snapping a rubberband on your wrist everytime you get the urges. Do the butterfly project. Anything to keep you from mutilating yourself.

I know how you feel when it seems like you just can't stop, no matter how hard you try. It's addictive, who can blame you? I have trichotillomania, and it is literally impossible for me to stop at the rate I'm at. But I know for my cutting there is more underlying control, and for me less stigma. I believe in you. you can do this.