i know i've been asking for a lot more help than i've been giving this week. sorry about that.

had a total meltdown crisis tonight. triggered by having a fight with my other half and just feeling alone and abandoned with T leaving.

the thought that i'll never see him again is "intolerable" as he would say. and that's what i'm asking advice for i suppose. how do i tolerate that thought?

even knowing that he didn't choose to leave and that he was sad about it doesn't make me feel better. i keep hoping that i will run into him someday but i can't pin my hopes on that because there's no guarantee.

i rang the out of hours doctors tonight for help. all they said to me was "try not to think negative thoughts". Gee thanks for that, that would never have occurred to me.

how do i bear this? losing someone who was such a support to me. i really believed that T liked me and I NEVER feel like that. i'm sure he will just forget about me now.