(((goldshift))),

I am very sorry that your parents are presenting "their" problems that way to you.
And when parents do that, often that can become our inner voice that can make it hard for us to feel good about ourselves. This is something that is sadly very common in many teens and even adults that present with some kind of depression.

When your therapist didn't have a quick response to that presentation about how your parents treat you, please don't take it as her not wanting to validate you. I don't know how old you are, but a therapist is not going to want to say something about your parents that you can run home with and throw out at your parents. And they don't want to do that because they know you need help with this and they think about you staying in therapy so they can continue working with you.

It is a challenge being a therapist, and they have to be careful how they word their responses to their clients. People do repeat things in anger, and if a T says something a parent doesn't want to hear, that parent can stop their child from seeing the therapist. Remember, most parents think "their child is the problem" they often truely don't see that the Reality is that "they" are the problem and the child is just responding to that with psychological stress.

goldshift, so many people have children and have no idea the huge commitment having a child is. And so many parents are not even grown up enough themselves to have a child.

I was 28 when I had my daughter, and I did struggle with my husband whom by the time my daughter turned 6, I discovered he was a binge alcoholic. Wow, I had no idea that kind of alcoholic existed. So I had to learn how to manage a marriage and raising a child with a challenge that I didn't know very much about. I had to learn that my husband had the maturity level of a 13 year old too. So I had to figure out how I was going to raise a healthy child with that kind of challenge. And I never really felt safe, even though I demanded my husband get help to stop or I would end our marriage. Sure, my husband went too AA and stopped drinking that same day I told him to stop or he would no longer be married to me. But that did not cover him having to grow up from the mentality of a 13 year old. And all along he kept pushing my buttons to mothering him. I was told not to do that, but it was hard as he sure did keep pushing those buttons.

I did everything I could to raise my daughter right. But was it perfect? No, it wasn't, it was a challenge, but she always knew I loved her. She is now 28 years old and she has her claim to whatever I didn't do right as a parent. But she doesn't really know how hard I tried to do as much right as I could for her.

So many people have children and they truely don't take note of how they themselves have issues that are just not fair to present to any growing child. Parents tend to think children don't pay attention or understand the problems their parents have. They don't realize that children sense the unhappiness and disfunction their parents present to them. Parents just seem to think children just need to be fed and have a home and that they somehow grow up to be whomever they are destined to be. Like you parents that say those things to you, children are often blamed for what is really the "parents own issues".

What you have to do for yourself is learn how to let go of your "parents" issues and how they get into your head and guide you to negetive depressive thoughts. Ah, but before you begin to think you are all alone with this issue? Sadly you are amongst so many that there are drug companies that make Billions on the magic pill to help so many resolve psychological issues resulting from poor parenting skills. And there are not enough therapists to truely address the flood of so many that struggle due to this problem.

What you have to do is finally recognize that you have to make the efforts to "love yourself" and now "invest in yourself" and learn some skills so you can take care of yourself and let go of these negetive people that are too ignorant to see that they are "your main problem". Because even if you told them? They are not capable of seeing the "truth" and you are not alone in that either.

Are your parents unworthy people? No, they are just a product of bad parenting too, and they go along in "ignorance" along with many others. We do not spend enough time on educating people what it takes to raise a healthy minded child. We keep continuing to pay the price of that on the other end with so many struggling teens and adults that simply didn't get the right kind of nurturing to enable them to actually feel they CAN live a happier productive life.

I stand in validation of you in saying the list you have above is not your fault. The list of things your parents say to you means they are ignorant people as well. And what you need to do is to let go of their negetive input and find ways to help yourself present some much healthier positive input for your brain from now on.

(((Hugs))))
Open Eyes