hi guys. no i can't contact him. i mean i suppose could, i know which hospital he's gone to work for but i'm not supposed to because he is out of my health board now. besides i know that wouldn't be good for me. it would be like rewarding my crisis if you know what i mean...like saying well it's ok to contact him if i just get bad enough, when really i should be finding alternatives.

i'm feeling a lot better now though... very rapid mood change! i suppose it will come and go like this for a while maybe.

technically i can call my service but i don't know any of the other T's there and i'm not sure what i'd say to them. i'm angry that they didn't line up another T in time for exT leaving; they knew exactly when he would be leaving from the moment he arrived! i feel like they abandoned me when i need help transitioning you know?

but don't worry about me. i will manage. i just have to try and remember that i won't feel bad forever. even when i'm in crisis, it doesn't last. it's hard trying to remember that at the time though...