I still feel that way too. Only my monster is a terrified little kid who needs rescuing.
I don't feel very much anger about what happened to me, which makes me feel like
there is something very wrong with me....but half of me is scared all the time, in a
horrendous amount of pain and just looking for somewhere to be put back together.
Even with therapy and support, I am still alone with all these feelings.
I have realized it is my burden. To carry or to let go.
Except I don't know who I am without this other part.
And she is so broken I don't know if she'll ever get put back together.

I hope that doesn't happen to you, and I hope that someday, somehow, some way,
you'll find a way to combine these two parts of who you are and that all your anger
and hurt can find some peace and healing.