Last night I was going on outside to the shed to get a drink and stupid me I go everwhere with no lights to save power and my mom's pots were in the way of the shed and went straight into them and landed on my knees. On my way to the ground I glimpsed my death as though I thought I was going to die and at that moment I went back to my life and realized that if I died I would feel better than I do normally. Is that bad?