PS - Sometimes i wonder why it is taking me so long to heal. 12 years is a long time! My t is really knowledgable and very good, and the truth is that I've also worked very hard for a very long time in therapy. So why am i not better yet? And why i am so dang sensitive/fragile that i can't seem to handle the least bit of pressure?

I didn't use to be this way. But ever since i had my breakdown 12 years ago, i've never been the same. I can't "handle" much. Emotional stress makes me physically exhausted. When i get overstimulated or under too much stress, i have to literally go to bed and sleep just to get over it, to recuperate. Even when i am consciously trying to relax, i know that under the surface, my subconscious is going a mile a minute because i can feel it.

I am on meds, but they only help partway. I have GAD and PTSD, and it just feels like i can't tolerate the normal stresses of life.

I have alot of intense dreams too, and sweat profusely at night.

I am constantly hard on myself, and don't know how to relax.

I feel like a mess.