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Old Jul 12, 2006, 07:58 PM
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LMo LMo is offline
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Member Since: Jan 2003
Location: Pacific NW
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</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
SeptemberMorn said:
So, what was Christina's intent for signing up as a member here?? The way I see it, it was to finish me off with John. Correct me if I'm wrong.

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No! This is exactly what I meant in one of my previous posts, Tomi. If you make one and only one change in your behavior, this is it.

Do NOT guess or make assumptions about her intentions. There is nothing more maddening than other people putting words in your mouth, or telling you what you think, feel, or intend. Every time you say something like this, it serves to make you get angry and if it were to get back to her or John that you're accusing her of things (such as 'she came to PC to finish you off with John'), the only thing it would do is cause them to alienate you further. Nobody is going to say 'wow Tomi - you sure exposed her!' and change their opinion of her by you making that kind of statement.

I suggest that you PRACTICE giving her the benefit of the doubt, even if you don't believe it. Just practice saying or writing the words that would show that your mind is open enough to consider her perspective from a positive point of view. I think it will take practice, but it's a good exercise to sort of de-sensitize yourself.

What do you think? I'm fine if you disagree - we can make this a discussion.
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