There's give and take and it sounds like you don't give others an opportunity to give to you, unasked, out of their own hearts, bounty, free will.

When I was turning 21, I "ordered" my college roommate to give me a surprise party. I put a note on the outside door of my room saying I had gone to the library including when I would be back, then locked the door from the inside and hid in the closet most of the day. I don't like surprises or being the center of attention if I am not in control

I had a hard time at my wedding reception too, because I was the bride and had to be the "star", with people congratulating me, giving me gifts, asking me how I was, etc. I was "seen" and had no control, could not "sneak off" or take my submarine and submerge if I felt like it, LOL.

Asking for what you want is great but it sounds like there is no opportunity, no "space" for others to offer you what you want or for any spontaneity in your response, "Would you like a cookie?"/"Oh, now that you mention it, that does sound good! Thank you!" Instead, you muscle through the crowds across the room to the person holding the plate and ask, "Can I have a cookie?" You don't wait and see if good things come to you, you don't expect them to (the cookie lady would make her way around the room, you don't have to muscle through the crowds). Maybe practice anticipating and seeing if good things will come your way with no effort on your part?

You can still let other people know what you like but that is not the same as asking for something. "I like hugs" might get you a "free" hug, you can't know, and that is both exciting (will I get a hug?) and interesting (who gives you hugs and who does not?). But if you go up to someone and say, "Can I have a hug?" you miss out on the other person and whether they "want" to give you a hug anyway (whether they are use to and comfortable giving and getting hugs) and it's a one-off experience because it's only dry cause and effect, no real interaction, communication or information coming with the hug.

My daughter-in-law gives spontaneous hugs, I do not. I have become a better hugger myself because of the interaction between my daughter-in-law and myself; I'm more comfortable giving and receiving hugs because of the practice with her. How would that be different if I had gone up to her when we met and said, "May I have a hug?" There would be no practice in receiving. There would be no spontaneous practice, the waiting to see what kind of person I was dealing with (in case I get another friendly "stranger" who is a hugger). I can give and receive all kinds of hugs now and tell you more about hug types than I could if I just asked for hugs individually, when I wanted.