My feeling is that you should get a new T. I think you're spending way too much time and emotional energy focusing on your T and her ways of behavior. This whole thing is preventing you from making progress in therapy, because the focus is on her rather than you. And you MUST focus on yourself if you're going to get anywhere. I think this relationship is damaged beyond repair and it's becoming toxic for you. You know what you need - she's not giving it to you. Time to say adios.