i am doing better and realizing that alot of things that have and effect on me is alot of things that i somehow keep trying to form an attachment to which i am starting to let go of like things that ended up together in my mind but now i am finally starting to let go and detach what i thought belonged together i still feel people pull stuff with me even recently but at the time i had no clue it existed could have been a stunt i have no idea but i never even looked at anything i just remembered a few odd things but i just did not have the capacity or knowledge to think something may have been going on and i have been in isolation except for family memebers for so long that i am not really social and like say someone wants a relationship with me i just can't deal with that hell the only thing that dragged me into all this stuff i was alone and separated from everyone at that time and people in that town could have conned me either that it was just certain people with the humiliation/revenge type stuff i do not know now sure i'd be thrilled if someone really loved me but i have/and had an illness that i see now goes back years but really i feel whatever they try to present cannot be accepted and sure someone said they were going to catch me and basically i retaliated against someone for what they did that i was not aware of they have tried to use people that either looks like someone or is that i never was interested in then theres one person that i have no idea why i was interested in and someone who i kinda talked to saw that liked me and was acting in a certain way that related to my childhood and then i was told something and thought that was it and went away i was all alone nobody and people never confronted me so it's all revenge and humiliation as far as i see doesn't matter what they say thats how it is plus they did not care asking me anything they just wanted what they wanted i am feeling better now i am detaching things that do not belong together and doing it in a public manor like this helps thank you