i really have been sick though. horrible sick. felt really very horrible. runny eyes and runny nose and then sore throat and horrible runny throat. not pleasant at all. stress was the last straw, i guess. have one week to get some serious writing out to get to supervisors. one of them arrives back at the end of next week so i want some serious writing to get to him. about... half way through something decent so that should be managable. need to write something for another person too. in my own interests. i think there is this grad student phenomena 'i am a fraud and pretty soon they will figure that out!'. i'm getting a major case of that at the moment. i'm meant to write half a paper and this other lady is going to write the other half. i'm worried she is only interested because i have misrepresented the significance of something in personal communications with her. i'm worried i can't deliver my half and so i've been avoiding it. i'm worried i'll just embarrass myself with giving her work that isn't up to scratch. and so... i haven't written it. but really... i should make that a project for either this weekend or next. need to get that done. put my fears aside and just damn well do it. in my own best interests really. if i do it and she thinks it is crap or it doesn't work out. oh well. marks for trying. will be a little embarrassing but no more embarrassing than avoiding her which is what i've been doing to date...