Lee - I was on Zoloft for 6 years and got off back in the spring. (my neuro was trying to eliminate possible drugs as the reason for my constant headache - that wasn't it) I knew after not too long that it wasn't good but I only got back on about 3 weeks ago.
There is a long story to go behind the episode that started the Zoloft 6 years ago, but it did pull me out of the deep depression I had at that time. This is different and I now realize that where the med brought me to at that point was just what I used to as my 'normal' - or as good as it was going to get.
This is way different. I'm in a pretty much constant state of panic for weeks - if I didn't know it was panic, I would think I was going to have a heart-attack. I have been semi-functioning, doing only what I absolutely have to and when I am doing those things I'm just doing them to get by. I'm not sure if it makes sense to say I'm in a state of super anxiety and yet totally numb at the same time, but that is kinda what I feel.

My husband is working on getting the insurance worked out. He did get a list of psychs (though he will have to drive me since none of them are within my comfort zone) and is working with my therapist to get me in to see one but who knows how long that will take.

I just need a break from myself and I don't know how to get it. Almost makes me wish I were a drinker, just for a day.