I sure don't feel like it.....2 weeks ago with my psychologist, I went it & said all that was happening & all I was doing......like I had everything together......then she asked how I was holding up & I completely fell apart. I can cover up how I really feel all too well.....but I think the not being able to eat is the true window into how I'm really feeling........It might be sort of a control thing also because I have no control over my H qualifying for the loan mod, I have no control over whether the house goes into foreclosure & I have absolutely no control over getting my things out of the house without loosing them all & only having what I left there with the first time......at first I thought that I felt well in control of taking the actions that I need to take but there's more to the picture than that.

I ate the that last ear of corn for lunch & finished off the chocolate ganache ice cream.....just a little in the bottom......but cold & sweet is about all that tastes good. In my garden, I got 1 cucumber off the plants & decided to make my cucumber, cream cheese, dill & onion dip/spread.....I tasted it & almost felt sick......& it's my favorite.

I just feel like crawling in a hole......my printer quit.....have to buy another one.....have to pay the lawyer for the quit claim.......& my neighbor for fixing my lawn tractor & my disability check just came in today & have a lot to save still for my property taxes.....I refuse to be a looser like my husband.....always pay it early so I can get the discount....but kill myself to get the money there.

Spent too much time last night on the computer after leaving here trying to check printer prices.

Oh well.....off to the lawyer.....off to the place where they can get discount printers to check out their costs......& then to church to help with the 127 yard sale.....hope I get there before 5pm.....at this rate.....it's doubtful

I realized as I was standing in the kitchen that my anxiety level is really out of control & I don't have time for the hot shower & breathing truly DOES NOTHING for me.....maybe the hot shower will just have to be before I try to get out there & attack the issues.

Even the chocolate ice cream that ALWAYS tastes good is not settling well.......ugh!!!!!!!!