You realize that 90+% of the population can drink safely, and they can smoke a joint without a disaster befalling them as well. I envy them. I suppose I was one of them at some point in my past. I remember being in control of my imbibing.

But for me to think that yesteryear is now would be a very big mistake for me. I figure I could have 3 beers and be OK with that the first time out. Maybe even control it a bit longer than that, but I know me. And I know that when I am controlling my drinking, it isn’t much fun. And when I am not trying to control it at all, drinking as much as I really want to do, then and only then is it fun.

But here I am, posting on a recovery site. It wasn’t much fun in the end. None of us get to places like this while it is still fun, the fun in my drinking wore off some time ago. A came to places like this to make the pain stop.

Desirae… why did you show up here the first time? What was going on in your life that caused you to look in places like this for something different? I got no crystal ball, but I will bet you that sooner than later, all those things that sent you here will reassert themselves again.

It takes what it takes.

Your friend,
Richard