I am sorry that you are feeling such pain and my heart goes out to you. The sudden reduction in medication has likely thrown you into the downward spiral.

It is difficult to think clearly when in such a depressed state.

I really think you need to get help immediately.

Is there a crisis line you can call in your area? If you are having thoughts about harming yourself, go to the hospital or call 911. It is a medical emergency.

Your children love you and need you. It will get better, you must believe this.