I would have to agree that this is totally normal. For someone who looks at the world through damaged glasses, we have a distorted view of everything. Because of past abuse you were taught that authority and power are negative things. This world is cruel, but not everything about it is. You learned to distrust before ever knowing the feelings of trust. I would imagine that having a negative experience before a positive one could lead to very confusing feelings...similar, in example, to feelings first felt by someone who has awesome parents and then experiences some kind of deep hurt from an authority figure later in life.

It takes time, but it is very important in life to hang on to the few precious moments in life that do feel good and comforting.