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Good morning,
Whimsygirl & Blue Poppy I hope you are both well and I would like to thank you both for your support and your posts I really appreciate them.
I called a support group there on Monday and I’m still waiting on them getting back to me so I will follow back up again this Monday. I haven’t spoken to my Doctor as my mother works at the health centre and I know it’s confidential. My mum also has had depression since I was a teenager and I have 3 sisters and one of them also has it and she always says she tells the Doctor that she’s worried about me working too much and never doing things for myself as I tend to put other people first all of the time. It’s as though I’m running away from my life and filling it up with other peoples or work. I just don’t want to worry my mum I love her and my 3 sisters to bits (here I go I’m crying again).
When I was 8 my Dad suddenly passed away it was the most horrible day of my life and my poor mother I don’t know how she coped, she always said it was her girls that kept her going. A few years later she met someone and he turned out to like his drink and hit her. I was so protective of her and once I found out I would never leave her with him and always stood in front of mum when he went to hit her. I have always been the strong one of the family being there for mum and the girls and they have always came to me to help fix things out things are going well for the family and I guess if I hide what I’m going through I won’t worry them which is the last thing I want to do.
I am really sorry to hear about your friend ending your relationship whimsygirl relationships can be hard can’t they. If you need to chat on here please feel free to drop me a line. I have 2 friends and then mum and my sisters I know it’s my own fault and I should talk to them I just don’t know where to start and some things might hurt them and I don’t want to ever hurt them.
Whimsygirl I was smiling when you said my partner is a jerk deep down I know he is I just wish he would stop giving me false hope of a future together and I don’t feel welcome when I’m around. If my sisters told me the things that he has done I would tell them to get rid of him why can’t I take my own advice. Today Mum the girls and I with their partners are all going to a wedding my partner has know about this for ages. I asked him this week if he was coming he said no why would I want to come I’m not really interested. I said because I was there and it would be nice to go together. He does have issues he’s a bit of a loner and struggles to communicate. But I’m still going to go for my mum and family I'll probably be quiet and leave early. Does it make sense that you hate being on your own but when your with people you don’t want to be with them the same as social occasions it’s a horrible feeling I feel so withdrawn.
I hope you both have a lovely day, sleep not sure of the time zone and that I'll get to speak to you more and most importantly thank you for being there and I hope I can also be there for you both...Take care
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