At first that made me laugh Hankster - just the fact that it is the complete opposite of my current situation.

But the more I have thought of it, the more I see that maybe it is not the complete opposite. I learned to be tough early on and found a way to control my emotions which I saw as a definitie weakness and inconvenience. So maybe there was an adult bit there then?

I am fairly terrified of T going anywhere near that inner child, I am not sure whether it is because it feels unsafe for her (sorry this inner child / adult thing still feel pretty weird to write about, I keep wanting to snap out of it), or whether it is about that being seen thing that my T talks about. She was never seen and I feel I have fought hard to break free from that and be recognised, I am (I think?) scared of her and him getting all chatty together and being pushed out by her - that she would take over and again I would be the unseen one. Yeah I'm pretty confused right now.

Thanks for all the input though - it feels like a load of ingredients going into a cake and wondering what it will turn out like at the end.