..these are the worst and weirdest days of all...this is when it becomes clear, I find, it becomes so clear I'm seriously off track off my path not for happiness but just for some peace!

it's unbelievable just how harsh and quick the self loathing hits and it's real important like you say here, to find something to especially... even pretend to be interested in.

oh yeah it's full on!

but reality ...(the real one)...it creeps back in just allow it to gently bring us back.

those dark days are so real though...intense full on!

(won't go on about that ...not here right now)