I almost always-- disappear.

I didn't know what it was for such a long long time-- I'm learning that it's "triggers". So many things trigger.... *sigh*....

Most people can't begin to understand the triggers within, as they don't seem like they'd be upsetting to the average person. but fins didn't have an "average" upbringing.

just learning some triggers that I run from that "average" people wouldn't understand---
1. adults that appear, to me, to be attention seeking(the mother did that which caused us kids to be in traumatic situations-- HER getting attention was paramount over others feelings/well being) I will run from people that I feel are like that and NOT give them my time or energy.-- maybe that IS a coping skill??
2. adult traumas being equaled or made more important than a childs traumas. This soooo upsets me, for anyone that has suffered horiffic childhood abuse/traumas, and then an adult comes along and says something like-- yea that happened to me when I was 25 or 30! THAT is NOT the same thing... not even close! argggggg those such adults have NO CLUE. (IMO) I feel like then that I'd like to throw things-- but I don't-- i isolate instead. I struggle to feel/show anger. It seems like anger is too volatile-- isolating is much more controllable(is that a word?) and doesn't hurt others.

it's a work in progress for sure....

I think many of you have done such great work and have mastered so much in your healing Good going to all of you!

thanks for asking this Perna-- it's got me to thinking

I wish we had more posts like this kind! I think they're helpful.

fins