Hi everyone,

thank you for all the suggestions. I did prepare and wrote a lot of things down. Unfortunately I couldn't keep my emotions out of it. I did run my scribblings past my therapist last night and although she said that it was highly emotional, she also said I can try and present these as my thoughts as long as I preface them as my perceptions and emotions. I did this at the meeting today, but I was still interrupted because my words seemed to be attacking her, my line manager just sneered and laughed contemptuously at one point, the HR person found my words unproductive and so it went on from there.
My line manager still called my work 'shoddy', she still insisted that I wasn't up for my grade and I still think that the things she mentioned were minor and disagree with her generalisation. She said she can't give me more autonomy if I can't get the basics right and the HR person agreed.

She also mentioned how often I cry and that she can't always play my counsellor.
Maybe she is right - maybe I subconsciously tried to get a mother and a counsellor in her. Maybe there is some transactional analysis at work. Maybe I behave in an immature way and I have never grown up and never really become a professional.

I really really dislike myself at the moment. I feel like giving up on everything.
I am completely exhausted. I don't know where to go from here. I just want everything to stop!! I don't know what to do any longer. I just can't cope with the work situation.
What shall I do? Will I have to try and find out about incapacity benefit?
Shall I try to apply for other jobs instead (not many out there) or will I be incapable anyway of establishing proper work relations with anybody?
Am I just a hopeless case????

And my lovely flat is tied to my work place. I will lose this as well! If I had a new one to go to, which is nice, okay, but I don't. :-(

I am completely overwhelmed and desperate. Please, can anyone reply? I am so clueless and although I am not exactly suicidal I am ashamed of myself enough to really not want to go on (even though I wouldn't act on this).

I need help!