Do you have any rl support to help you out? T, pastor, friend? I'm praying for you, but at the same time, worried that your needs are not being met. I would strongly suggest reaching out irl, and even maybe have a family member stay with you for a few days, just so that you're not alone with it all, all the time. The company might be good for you, it could serve as a distraction and it may just motivate you to cook. I may however be way off base, but thought I'd put it out there.