Hi there, I do have some issues about the way i view sex. I am very body body concious. I'm BPD so I always am waiting to be rejected about the way I look,feel or perform. I feel like I'm putting on a show of some sort but not enjoing any of it. Somewhere I got the message sex was bad. Probably from my mother although she was always flaunting her sexuality when I was young and I thought she was disgusting. A few years ago I got involved with a man that turned out to be a pedophile and acted on those impulses.. He is now in jail for the rest of his life. He insisted that I call him Daddy. I never had a father so I did tend to like the idea of that. I don't understand how I could fall prey to such a person. My inner child feels violated. I am very shut down. there is just so much there it's overwhelming.