It is funny how something as simple as not talking or talking can make such a huge difference. For 17 years it was an untouchable topic for me, even now sometimes when T brings it up the only words I am able to get out of my mouth is I can't talk about. Keeping it all in is one of the major causes of my panic disorder. I know one thing that will make it better is talking about it. Seems so easy, lol.. of course it is not. I hope that it does get eaiser at some point. I really, really, do want to talk about it, want to heal from it and move on from it!!